The GGM Daft Stuff Area

Mad Road Signs

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Guys with big devices never have to lick up for their fault

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Daft Answers on TV Quiz Shows

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE   (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for ‘cherrypickers’ and ‘cheesemongers’?
Contestant:  Homosexuals.
Paxman: No. They’re regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you.

BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston:  Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn’t my strong point.
Theakston: There’s a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester?

BBC   NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don’t know.
White: I’ll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm.
White: Correct.  And if you’re not weak, you’re…?
Contestant: Strong.
White:  Correct – and what was Lord Mountbatten’s first name?
Contestant:  Louis.
White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?

LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS)
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant:   France
Trelinski:   France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let’s try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant:  Sorry, I don’t know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris?

THE WEAKEST LINK   (BBC2)
Anne Robinson:-   Oscar Wilde,  Adolf Hitler and  Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their  experiences in what:-   Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party?

BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For 10 Pounds , what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one.. Is it Jewish?

UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Gandhi’s first name?
Contestant: Goosey?

GWR FM  ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963?
Contestant: I don’t know, I wasn’t watching it then.

RTE RADIO 2FM  ( IRELAND )
Presenter: What is the name of the long- running TV comedy show about pensioners: Last Of The  .?
Caller: Mohicans.

PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER )
Phil: What’s 11 squared?
Contestant: I don’t know.
Phil: I’ll give you a clue. It’s two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?

RICHARD AND JUDY Show
Q: Which American actor was married to  Nicole Kidman?
A: Forrest Gump.

RICHARD AND JUDY
Leslie:   On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er .
Leslie: He makes bread
Contestant: Er . .
Leslie: He makes cakes
Contestant:   Kipling Street ?

LINCS FM   PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant:   Barcelona
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I’m sorry, I don’t know the names of any countries in Spain ..

NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world’s largest continent?
Contestant:  The Pacific?

ROCK FM (PRESTON)
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by  Leonardo Da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

THE   BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?

JAMES  O’BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
O’Brien: How many kings of   England have been called Henry?
Contestant:  Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth … er..  … er…. three?

CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna ?
Caller:   Japan?
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn’t hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er…   Mexico ?

PAUL WAPPAT (BBC  RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after   long pause): Fourteen days?

DARYL DENHAM’S  DRIVETIME (VIRGIN  RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant:   Holland ?
Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Denham (helpfully): It’s a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.

PHIL  WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Wood: What ‘K’ could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er . .. ..
Wood:  It’s got two syllables .. . . Kor .. . ..
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no.  The past participle of run . .
Contestant:  (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I  run, yesterday I . .. .
Contestant: Walked?

THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia?

LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant:  Jewish.
Presenter: That’s close enough.

STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day.  Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
Contestant:  Jesus.

Mad Photo’s

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Chicks will be at a loss for words when you take your pants down. With every extra inch you climb one more stair on the ladder of masculinity.